6 THINGS AN EMAIL CAMPAIGN WILL DO FOR YOUR CHURCH

Emails are powerful tools of communication between individuals and organizations. It is a means of nurturing leads and relationships. Most churches have come to realize the importance of email campaigns and have included it in their outreach strategy but a huge number are yet to capitalize on this all important strategy for church growth, information dissemination and reaching out to brand new souls as well as nurture relationship with existing members.

Email usage has been on the rise and is set to hit 3bn users by 2020. It is the most widely used social media channel of communication to date. Out of 2000 facebook users and 2000 email recipients, 22% will open and read your emails compared to 6% on facebook, according to a marketing research.

Whether your emails get opened, clicked, read and acted upon depends on how well planned, written, and relevant it is, hence the importance of a well thought out email strategy.

Six major benefits of setting up an email campaign for your church are

EMAILS WILL NURTURE THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR MEMBERSHIP

Most people who attend church services do not take notes. After church service, they go back home and continue with life, ever busy and chocked up with trying to make ends meet. They forget all that was taught in church, looking forward to the next service to continue the circle. Imagine that after church service, maybe on a Monday morning, you send a neat little email, thanking members for attending service and then you provide a brief recap of what was preached, with action points, while encouraging them to hit reply if they have questions or challenges. And then you do a follow up email on Wednesday to encourage them and then another email on Friday to remind them of church service on Sunday. I am sure the members will feel connected and willing to continue worshiping with your church. There will be an established relationship between the sender of the emails and the recipient.

A WELL THOUGHT OUT EMAIL STRATEGY WILL ENABLE YOU SEND TARGETED MESSAGES TO THE RIGHT AUDIENCE, AT THE RIGHT TIME.

Not everyone who walks into church is at the same level of attendance or spirituality, hence the need for segmented emails. The first time worshiper needs different email content from the regular worshiper. With proper email marketing strategy set up, each group of worshipers will have relevant messages sent to them at appropriate times. Nothing can be more frustrating than receiving irrelevant messages. With this sorted out, the worshippers feel more at home with you and the church.

EMAILS WILL PROVIDE YOU GREATER REACH/AUDIENCE

Regular, relevant newsletters sent out periodically will grant you a wider reach as a church. Mails can get to members who have changed locations, one time worshippers and even non members as the members get to share the information with them! Good newsletters will always be shared with friends and family whom the recipient feels will need such content. Some have the possibility of being printed out and shared in smaller group gatherings. E-Newsletters will afford you a wider reach than you would ordinary get to from the pulpit.

EMAILS WILL TURN FIRST TIME WORSHIPPERS TO REGULAR MEMBERS, BOOSTING ATTENDANCE

When people feel connected to their church and man of God, trust is developed which naturally translates to membership and higher church attendance. Newsletters take the word further than the pulpit. Those who receive it directly or indirectly will always want to worship with the church when they can.

EMAILS ARE AN EFFECTIVE MEANS OF PUBLICITY.

Yes, Emails are effectively used for publicity: to publicize ministry events, send out important announcements (new church product releases such as books, audio materials), broadcast programs and time, fundraisers, and updates. Publicity through Emails are cost effective and the reach is sure, unlike using fliers and handbills. Using proper Email personalization, members get personalized invites and announcements which creates a sense of belonging and bonding.

EMAILS ENCOURAGE COMMUNICATION AND FEEDBACK.

Emails are a great source of communication. It affords your audience a means through which they can reach out to relevant persons of authority in the church, most times while still maintaining their anonymity. It provides an avenue for feedback on church activities, members, sermon and the preacher. When recipients are encouraged to hit reply in every email they get from your church, they are bold enough to say what they would naturally not be able to say to your face or on social media. When feedback’s come in through Emails, acknowledge the senders, take corrections and improve on accolades.

At daraswritermom, I understand your church’s Email needs and I can help setup and run an email marketing campaign for you. To get in touch to see how I can be of help, click here and let’s talk.

Devotionals

Keep Your Eyes on Jesus

April 7, 2020April 7, 2020 Darasmom

“Come,” he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!
Matthew 14:29-30 (NIV)

A while ago, I fell on very hard times and had to minimize spending as much as I could, in order to tide my son and I far enough until we received our next stipends, from sources we weren’t even sure of.

On this particular day I went grocery shopping. I withdrew an amount form my bank account with my debit card and immediately got a debit alert from the bank on my mobile phone. When I checked and saw the figure left in the account, I was alarmed. My mouth went dry and I wondered how we were going to survive till whenever more money came.

Thoughts of fear and confusion raged within me. I was besides myself with worry when the story of Peter walking on water struck me like a flash. After feeding the multitude, Jesus asked the disciples to cross over to the other side of the river without him. As they were wondering where he could be, they saw a figure coming towards them, walking on water. On closer look, they recognized the figure as their Master and Friend.

They were so awed Peter challenged Jesus to bid him to come to Him on the water if He was really the Christ. Jesus bided him to come forth and gingerly, with eyes focused on Jesus, Peter stepped foot on the water and began to walk towards Jesus.

Peter took his eyes off Jesus and saw the raging sea. He was gripped by fear. He forgot all the miracles, signs and wonders he had witnessed Christ perform, all the teachings Jesus had thought them. He was afraid and started sinking. He realized his folly and reached out to the master who lovingly drew him back to Himself.

Stop looking at the waves of the sea, and focus on Jesus, your eternal source, I heard the Holy Ghost whisper to me. This jolted me back to reality as I analyzed the encounter. The wave of the sea which got me afraid was my bank account balance. The Holy Spirit was asking me not to focus on that but on the one who could do exceedingly above what I could ever ask or think, Jesus. My supplier, my provider, my contentment.

Like Peter, I immediately asked for forgiveness for my faithlessness and confessed that Jesus is my source and my sustainer, so I cannot lack. I stopped bothering about where and how money would come to me and focused on Jesus my supplier. And since then, I have walked in abundance, Jesus has been my source.

No matter the situation you are facing which represents the waves of the sea; be it health, poverty, emotional issues, do not forget that you are the product of a God, who supplies all your needs according to His riches in Glory. Focus on him as your one and only source. If you’ve gone astray, like Peter, cry out to your heavenly Father today and He will draw you to Himself.

Baby Care

NEO-NATAL/ NEW BORN JAUNDICE

March 16, 2020March 16, 2020 Darasmom

All You Need to Know About Jaundice In New Born’s.

Have you ever wondered why some new born babies or neo natal’s are placed under the early morning sun? With their skin pale yellow, basking under the sunlight, these little ones are not sun bathing for fun; it could be due to jaundice.

Jaundice in new born is often misconstrued to be caused by untreated malaria in the mother during pregnancy. It is also attributed to eating certain foods, especially sea food and herbs. This misconception is what this article aims to put right.

What then is Jaundice in New Born Babies?

Neonatal jaundice is a medical condition whereby the baby’s skin and the white of the eyes turn yellow a few days after birth due to excess bilirubin in the baby’s system.

Medicinenet.com gives the medical definition of neonatal jaundice as “Yellow staining of the skin and sclerae (the whites of the eyes) by abnormally high blood levels of the bile pigment, bilirubin.”

At this point you may be wondering what bilirubin is. Bilirubin is a yellow pigment, a byproduct produced in the process of the breakdown of red blood cells. It is processed and expelled from the body by the liver. It is expelled via feaces and urine.

In some new born babies, the liver is not developed enough to process and expel bilirubin so it stays in the body and causes the skin and whites of the eyes to turn yellow. This yellow pigmentation of the skin and whites of the eyes is called neonatal jaundice.

What Causes Jaundice in Newborn’s?

Jaundice, like most medical conditions is caused by certain factors such as

Premature Birth. Babies born before 37 weeks gestation are considered premature. Premature babies are more at risk of jaundice because their liver is not matured enough to breakdown and expel bilirubin from the blood stream.

Incompatible Mother-Child Blood Type. This is a situation where the mother and baby have discordant or different blood types. When this happens, babies develop antibodies which destroy their white blood cells and cause an increase in their bilirubin levels.

Inadequate Feeding. Inadequate feeding in the first few days of life contributes to the development of neonatal jaundice. This mostly occurs in cases of exclusively breast fed babies. When the baby is not taking in enough milk due to illness, inadequate breast milk production, or inability to suck, it leads to dehydration. Dehydration reduces stooling, causing a decrease in the amount of bilirubin sent out of the body and blood stream. This biliburin stays in the blood stream and causes yellowing of the eyes and skin.

Bruising/Injury at Birth. Bruising sometimes occur during the birth process especially in forceps assisted births. This bruising to the head causes an accumulation of blood under the scalp (Cephalohematoma). The breakdown of this accumulated blood causes a spike in bilirubin levels, overwhelming the still developing liver, leading to jaundice.

Red Blood Cells Defects. Defects in red blood cell enzymes and membranes may lead to hemolysis and increase in biliburin levels, ultimately leading to jaundice.

Other causes include infection, liver problems, and abnormal red blood cells.

Does Neo-Natal Jaundice Have Any Effects?

Despite the fact that in most cases, neo-natal jaundices clears up on its own as the baby’s liver develops and feeding improves, it is a condition that should be carefully monitored and treated. If left unattended for too long, it could lead to permanent brain damage, cerebral palsy and deafness.

How is Neo-Natal Jaundice Treated?

Treatment of jaundice depends on the severity. If it is mild, the doctor may recommend

Timely exposure to sunlight. This is usually early in the morning before the sun gets too hot. How long the baby stays under the sun depends also on the doctor’s prescription.
Frequent feeding. Neo-natal jaundice typically presents within 3-4 days after delivery. It is recommended that children with jaundice be fed frequently. Frequent feeding forces out excess bilirubin through the stool.
Phototherapy may be applied in more severe cases. Phototherapy is a process in which ultraviolet light is used in the treatment of disease conditions like neo-natal jaundice. The baby is laid naked, eyes covered under the light such that the skin absorbs as much of the light as possible.
Blood transfusion is done in very severe cases. This reduces the bilirubin in the baby’s blood stream and increases full blood count.

Can Jaundice in New Born be Prevented?

While neo-natal jaundice cannot be prevented, measures can be taken to make it less severe.

Ensure your baby’s bilirubin levels is tested before you leave the hospital
Check the skin closely for yellow discoloration. Report back to the hospital if the skin and eye color changes to yellow.
Ensure your baby is properly fed and hydrated the first few days after birth.

References.

medicinenet.com. newborn_jaundice_neonatal_jaundice

Short Story

The Journey of Womanhood

March 10, 2020March 10, 2020 Darasmom

Eme woke up with a start, with bewildered eyes and pajamas hair. Then it hit her, a sharp pain in her lower back. She screamed at the top of her lungs, more out of fear than pain. Somebody help! She screamed loudly again which got Edem, her husband of one year running in half clad from the bathroom.

No no no no, don’t shout babe; don’t shout. Remember what your mom said, please don’t shout. Let me get the car keys so we could go to the hospital, please babe, be strong and give me a moment Edem blabbed as he took off, obviously scared.

Eme was the first daughter of her parents, Mr and Mrs Etim. She was an indigene of Akai Effa Village in Calabar Municipality, Cross River State of Nigeria. As she lay confused and curled up in pain, her mind quickly ran through what her mother, Mrs. Utta Etim taught her about puberty, pregnancy and childbirth.

Utta started putting Eme through on what to expect as a woman before and after pregnancy and childbirth when she turned thirteen. A natural incident has led to the sermon. Eme, who attended an all girls’ school, remembered how shocked and scared she was when she was told by her classmates that her immaculate white uniform was stained.

The alarmed girl had quickly glanced back and seen a reddish brown patch almost at the helm of her skirt. Curious as to what it could be, she turned the skirt backside foward and it suddenly dawned on her that she was finally a ‘woman’. The much talked about menstruation had arrived without notice.

She had been expecting some sort of pain, nausea and headache as she had been told by her classmates but didn’t experience any of these hence her surprise. Eme was immediately flanked by her classmate, all talking at once with each one trying to tell her what she knew about the situation. Poor Eme burst into tears which made the girls tease her, calling her a cry baby.

She was marched to the staffroom to see her class teacher, the ever gorgeous Mrs. Asukwo. Mrs Asukwo, who was obviously used to such situations gave a wide smile, hugged her and put her through twenty minutes of what you need to know about menstruation.

Dear girl, she began with kindness in her voice. Congratulations, you are now a woman. What just happened is the arrival of your menstruation, which will be a regular monthly visitor from now henceforth. It shows you are normal and healthy and producing baby making eggs.

As you were taught in Biology, menstruation occurs once in a month when there is no conception. The period from one menstrual flow to the other ranges from 23-28 days and is called your circle; the period between one flow to the other. My dear, if any boy touches you from now on, you will get pregnant. You have to avoid boys like a plague now until when you get married, do you understand me? Yes ma! Eme answered although she was more confused than when she first got there.

Good girl said Mrs. A, as she was fondly called by her students. Now go get your skirt cleaned up then go and see the nurse at the sickbay so she will give you sanitary pads. Thank you ma! said Eme as she rushed off to the sick bay, absolutely confused.

Eme got to the sick bay and knocked timidly on the nurse’s cubicle. Who is that and what do you want? The nurse asked not raising her head from her notebook where she was writing her daily report. Its Eme Etim ma, I am here to get sanitary pads. Ok, hold on she replied as she reluctantly dragged herself up and threw a pack of sanitary pads at Eme.

What are you still waiting for? Nurse scolded when she noticed Eme had not moved an inch after picking up the pack of sanitary pads from the floor. Don’t you have any more lectures for the day? Why are you looking at the pad like that? Do you think it is biscuits? I don’t know how to use it Nurse, the startled Eme whispered shyly.

I am so sorry dear, Nurse said feeling sorry for the little girl. Come and take a seat let me tell you a story while we do a demo of how to use sanitary pads. I wonder what story she has for me now, Eme thought. I have had enough for one day; I just need to go home to mom and the comfort of my bed. She walked over to the chair Nurse indicated and sat down.

In my days as a teenager, nurse began, in the village of Akpabuyo where I grew up; we all belonged to age grades. Age grades were made up of people born within a period of two to three years of each other. We met to play games, help each other with chores, care for the elderly in the community and also cultivate our parent’s farms.

Parents and elders taught us about our bodies from very tender ages and from ten we were told to begin to expect our monthly visitors. Older siblings reiterated what older women taught us. They taught us that menstruation signified we were ripe for womanhood which in traditional parlance means marriage and childbearing.

We learnt that we could get pregnant upon meeting with boys and were advised not to go near boys. It was at this stage that we were secluded and circumcised to ensure that we didn’t give place to sexual promiscuity.

Circumcised? As girls? What do you mean nurse and how was it done? I thought only male children were circumcised at eight day’s old? Eme asked with deep curiosity.

Dear girl, Nurse answered. Female circumcision is what is today called Female Genital Mutilation. It is a complete or partial removal of the outer part (external female genitalia) of the vagina, especially the clitoris for non-medical reasons. In my own case, it was complete.

It was a ritual initiation right into womanhood which every young girl in my community had to go through. We all looked forward to it with dread. Families participated by ensuring that their daughters were circumcised with great pride. At the onset of my first menstrual flow, my parents began preparing for my coming of age initiation right or circumcision. I was just twelve years old then.

Most of my friends also faced the same fate as we were in the same age grade. Circumcision was mostly seen as an age-grade ceremony which spanned a period of three years for each age grade. What I mean here is that since we were in the same age bracket, most of us begun menstruating at the same time, therefore, we were secluded for and circumcised on the same day.

An outing ceremony was organized for every new initiate a month after the exercise when we would all have healed. This party was held jointly as a group. We were made to parade the village half dresses. Our parents beamed with pride, showering gifts on us. It was conducted at least two times in a year for a period of three years till every member of the age grade had been initiated.

As I said earlier, nurse continued, I was 12 years old and in Form One in secondary school. I returned for the mid-year break and was secluded for two months from late July until late September. I was confined to my room and nobody was allowed to visit, except elderly relatives and very close, circumcised friends.

While in seclusion, I was taught how to take care of my body. The traditional surgeon also came in once in a while to teach me what to expect and the importance of circumcision. I was made to understand that women who were not circumcised ended up as prostitutes or nymphomaniacs as they couldn’t be sexually satisfied by one man. I was also told that the female genital looked unkempt if not circumcised. I was made to believe that my future husband would be put off at the sight of my genitalia if it was not trimmed and kept clean. They made us believe circumcision made childbirth easier. We were very naive and couldn’t raise an eyebrow to avoid being termed “bad blood”.

Mma mbobi (literarily meaning circumcision woman) as we called the old woman who did the surgery, usually arrived very early in the morning depending on how many people she had to circumcise in a day. In my case, on the day of the deed she came at about 4.am with her popular shoulder sling bag hung loosely on her frail shoulders.

This smallish old woman had been around for ages (as I thought then). She it was who circumcised my mother, aunties, and cousins. Mother greeted her warmly on arrival. She answered and teased me, to ensure I was at ease before she asked if the water had been prepared and was answered in the affirmative.

An old wrapper was tied around my chest, long enough to cover my backside and I was made to sit down, legs apart on the bare mud floor of my seclusion room. I watched as mma mbobi carefully washed her hands with native black soap. She brought out some things from her bag which I could not see clearly and laid them accordingly on a piece of white cloth on the floor beside her, right in front of me. At this point, she called for hot water. It was brought straight from the fire in a covered earthen ware pot.

The old woman approached me and spread my legs further apart. That was when real fear gripped me. I remembered stories of girls who did not survive the ordeal. Their death was attributed to promiscuity which consoled me as I was still yet untouched. It was a great shame to discover on the day of circumcision that the girl to be circumcised had been violated. She was immediately ostracized by the entire community.

My virginity was tested by mma mbobi by inserting a finger into my vagina. I gasped out of fear and was immediately pinned down by two matured women, one to each leg. Two others held me down by my shoulders. She proceeded to dab my vagina with very hot water held in a piece of cloth, supposedly to soften the clitoris and numb the pain. I screamed as a very sharp pain pierced through my being. As quietly as she started, she was through with the cutting.

Till this day, I can’t remember how it happened, only that sharp pain. She applied the hot cloth once more and this time held it for a bit longer to stop the flow of blood. Then she applied a blackish, powdery substance and left some with my mom for daily application until I healed. I was very lucky to have healed without serious complications, except that the process left me frigid.

Eme cringed in fear and disbelief as she listened. She silently thanked God that she did not have to go through Female Genital Mutilation. Your generation is lucky, Nurse continued, cutting into her thoughts. Female Genital Mutilation is hardly practiced anymore. States are advocating against it and also provide protection to those who are at risk.

Did you lose anyone to this barbaric practice? Eme asked. Well, replied Nurse, about a few that I know of. Those who died were said to have been killed by the gods for being promiscuous. Most of us grew up with several complications, especially during childbirth. We also do not enjoy intimacy with our husbands. I have learned to move on but will always advocate against it.

Now run along, I will be glad to answer any questions you have about your new status. Welcome to the club, Nurse added mischievously. Thank you very much for telling me your story ma, I never knew such practices existed. I will definitely come around again someday!

What a day! Eme exclaimed as she threw herself on her bed. It started uneventfully and now see where we are. She eagerly awaited her mother’s return from work so she could ask her all the questions she had in mind until she drifted off into a troubled sleep. Mrs. Etim was a strict disciplinarian who worked with the State Ministry of Health as an Assistant Senior Health Facility Inspector. As strict as she was, she had soft spots for her only daughter, Eme. She could not bring herself to discipline her the same way she did her boys. Eme was a very calm, beautiful and obedient child who was easily corrected. These qualities endeared her to her mother. They related more like sisters than parent-daughter.

She woke up with a start as she heard her mother drive into the compound. As she sat up to clear her head, she heard her mom reprimand the brother who had opened the gate for her. Oops! So typical of Nigerian parents, to return home with a quarrel. Eme skipped into the sitting room, welcomed her mom excitedly in her characteristic way. Mrs. Etim was pleased to see her only daughter and replied her with a wide smile and a warm hug. I hope you had a good day at school? Yes, Mom, Eme replied.

Both went into the kitchen to prepare dinner for the whole family where they chatted away gaily. After dinner, Eme told her mom she would love to see her privately for something really important. I hope all is well with my baby; her mood has been a bit too gay today her mom thought. Ok dear, your room or mine? She asked aloud. Mine, of course, replied Eme and they headed into her room.

Close your eyes mom, Eme told her mom softly. I have a surprise for you. Hmmm, it had better be a pleasant one her mom said as she closed her eyes, smiling. When she was sure she had her eyes firmly shut, Eme held out the pack of sanitary pads before her. Taadaa, open your eyes now! Mrs. Etim gingerly opened her eyes and gave out a large squeal when she saw what the surprise was. She hugged her daughter tightly for about a minute, too long for Eme’s comfort. Congratulations darling, welcome to the club of womanhood.

Now, tell me, when and how did this happen? You were fine when you left home this morning. Yes, mom, I was Eme said and recounted the events of the day. But mom, she concluded, everyone keeps saying I will get pregnant if a boy touches me. How could that be? I’ve been holed up here since I got back because I don’t want my brothers to touch me. Her mom could not hold back the laughter. She laughed until tears rolled down her cheeks.

When she recovered from the bout of laughter, she dried up her face with tissue which her daughter held up to her. Now, before I answer that, do you have any more questions? Is there anything else you need clarifications about? Mrs. Etim asked. Yes, mom, I need to know everything about having a period. Ok dear, now you have a bedtime story.

Menstruation, monthly period, or just period, is the shedding/melting away of the lining of the uterus or womb which comes out in form of blood from the vagina. It starts during puberty between the ages of 12-14. It could be sooner or later than this. You know, your body starts getting set for reproduction at puberty, therefore, the womb is lined up with soft tissue and blood waiting for the ova (egg) to be released (ovulation), fertilized by male spermatozoa and implanted there, the beginning of a baby. When there is no fertilization, the egg dies off and the lining of the womb melts away and comes out of your vagina as menstrual blood. It typically lasts for 3-5 days after which it stops and your body starts getting ready for ovulation and either pregnancy or another period.

On the issue of getting pregnant when touched by boys. As I said earlier, you release an egg once every month which should be fertilized by male spermatozoa. The sperm is released into the vagina when a man has sex with a woman. That is when there is penis-vagina penetration without protection or contraception. That penis-vagina penetration, or sex, is what is referred to as “touching”.

Touching is regarded as a more decent form of saying sex. It literally means that now you have started seeing your period, there is a high likelihood of you getting pregnant if you have unprotected sex with a man. It is not when a boy touches your hand or face. Do you understand me so far dear? Yes mom, said Eme, heaving a sigh of relief. Please go on mom, I’m all ears she said. Ok dear.

As I was saying, mom continued, menstruation happens once in every lunar month (twenty-eight days) except in cases of pregnancy, birth control, drug usage or ill health-related issues. This once in every month occurrence is known as your monthly menstrual circle. The length of the circle varies from person to person and could be between 21-35 days. It is counted from the first day of the last period to the first day of the next period.

Monthly periods come with signs and symptoms, which could be painful, discomforting or not. These signs include nausea, vomiting, breast tenderness, cramps, dizziness, headaches, general feelings of discomfort and so forth.

Cramps are the most common signs. It could be mild discomfort or severe pains in the lower abdomen. If the pain is too strong, it could be a sign of endometriosis. Period pains are managed by mild pain relief drugs, applying hot water bottle to the crotch, avoiding food triggers like sugary foods and drinks shortly before and during a period. It typically goes away at the onset of the menstrual period.

Do you have further questions darling? No, mom. Ahaa, that reply was really fast mom said. Are you sure you are okay with this conversation? Yes, mom, I am. It’s just the bit about sex that was uncomfortable but I guess I can ask you anything mom. You go right on ladybug; I am yours for a few more minutes. Eme laughed out loud and urged her mom to go on back to bed as she was satisfied with the conversation. You are the best mom in the whole wide world, I absolutely adore you. Thanks a bunch, you sweet thing her mom replied, hugging her tightly. Good night baby.

Eme Etim had a good night rest and woke up bright and alert to blood-stained bed sheets. She quickly cleaned it, tidied herself up and was ready for school in no time before she remembered she had no sanitary pad on. She quickly went back into her bedroom, pulled out a piece of sanitary pad from the pack that lay on her bedside table. She peeled off the cellophane wrap, exposing the pad. With a fresh sanitary panty, she gingerly peeled off the gummy tape guard and placed the pad on her panty. Then she spread out the pad wings, took off the sticky tape and stuck them under the pants on opposite sides. Then she put on the sanitary pants and ran off to join her brothers who were already waiting in the car. School was really fun as she had an answer to all her friends had to say about having a period.

She soon finished high school and was admitted into one of the most prestigious colleges in the country, where she studied Social Works. Her choice of profession was informed by what Nurse had told her in high school about female genital mutilation. She wanted to help girl children who didn’t have access to equitable life and healthcare.

During her second year in college, she met, fell in love with and married her husband, Edem, amidst a very elaborate four days ceremony comprising of her maiden outing ceremony, traditional marriage, church wedding, and thanksgiving service.

In Calabar, Cross River State of Nigeria which is Eme’s home of origin, marriages are taken seriously between the two families. Both sides try to ensure that their children are perfect matches for each other; the families were good which traditionally meant no history of madness, stealing, divorce, or other ill health and behavioral patterns that were believed to run in the family bloodline. The marriage ceremony was conducted upon the satisfaction of both families.

In traditional Efik society, culmination of marriages commenced with the seclusion of the bride to be for fattening, induction into womanhood via circumcision and home management training. Here she was taught all about how to care for herself, babies, husband and the home. She was also taught what to expect from her husband, in-laws, and pregnancy, childbirth and care.

In modern times, seclusion is no longer widely practiced. Mothers, older and more experienced relatives still talk to their daughters about what to expect in marriage. Eme was particularly interested in pregnancy and childbirth so she requested that her mom and immediate female family members share their experiences with her.

Mrs. Etim took the lead in explaining to her daughter what to expect during pregnancy and childbirth. She said pregnancy is the period of nine calendar months or ten lunar months when a woman carries a baby in her womb until delivery. It starts when you have sex with your husband and his sperm fertilizes your ova. Remember, it is not every sexual intercourse that will lead to pregnancy. For it to lead to pregnancy, a lot of factors are involved but majorly, you as a woman should be ovulating, free from infections and blockage. The man also must have healthy sperm with good count and morbidity. All things being okay, pregnancy is sure to happen when you have sex around when you are ovulating, and not on contraceptives.

Another thing dear, interrupted an aunt who was a medical personnel. Pregnancy could also occur without sex through a process known as artificial insemination. It is . . . we have heard, taaaaaa, we are not praying for that, please go away with your bad omen; she was rudely interrupted by almost everyone shouting at the same time on top of their voices.

How do I know I am pregnant, mom? Eme asked. I think someone who has not spoken before should answer her, Mrs. Etim enjoined. The most common first sign of pregnancy is a missed period replied her Dad’s younger sister, Aunt Ekamma. That means your menstrual flow will not appear that month. You should take a pregnancy test to ascertain that you are pregnant. Other signs will follow immediately such as nausea, vomiting, food abhorrence and craving, breast tenderness, bloated stomach, headache, dizziness, irritability and so on. This most times goes on for the first three months, also known as the first trimester.

As for me, her maternal grandma chipped in, I never had nausea nor did I vomit. I was always very weak and dizzy. It was during my antenatal visits that it was discovered that my blood level was low. I was anemic. It is very important that you register for antenatal care as soon as you discover you are pregnant. Yes grandma, thank you so much ma. Could you please share your childbirth stories with me? I’m sure my bridal train would love to hear the stories too. Eme pleaded.

It never ceases to intrigue me how eager every bride to be I have come across is to hear birth stories. Grandma said. Ladies I am certain you have loads of stories for the younger ones. The older ladies all laughed and took turns telling her what to expect during labor and delivery.

The symptoms of labor vary amongst women and pregnancies in order of presentation. What I mean here is that every woman experiences different things at different stages of labor. Labour presentation also varies with pregnancies. For example, the birth of your second child might not be like the first. Her aunt started.

For me, labor starts with lower back pains and cramps similar to menstrual pains. It comes and goes for a period of about two weeks. This is called false labor or Braxton hicks. Then I would normally have a show (blood stained mucus). When the show presents, I know it is the real deal; labor has begun in earnest.

The pain grows in intensity and I can only describe it as very intense menstrual cramps. It is usually very painful. It gets more painful as labor progresses. This bloody show keeps coming out, increasingly until my waters break. By this time I would already have been in the hospital.

As soon as the waters break, the pain gets more intense, contractions stronger and more frequent. Things move really fast until it’s time to push. How do you know when you have to push? Asked Eme’s Friend, Asari. Your body will know. You will have a strong urge to bear down as if you need to use the toilet. It is so strong you cannot control it.

For me, Mrs. Etim chipped in. Labor starts with mild cramps as well which are manageable. Shortly after I first start feeling the cramps, let’s say about two hours into it, my water breaks. The first time I had a baby, I did not notice the mild cramps as I had been dealing with the discomforts of the final lap of pregnancy for a while. I was taken unawares when my waters broke as I sat on the toilet seat in the office. I had a little pop like the smacking of my lips then there was a gush. I sprang up in fright and more water gushed out. I thought the water will never finish. I was so scared I let out a scream. Female colleagues rushed in and took me to the hospital immediately. That labor lasted for more than twenty-four hours and I was exhausted. Thankfully, your brother was born before other medical intervention measures were taken. That was my longest labor ever.

How painful could labor be mom? Eme was obviously scared now. Expect the worst pains you can imagine my dear, grandma said, so that you are not taken unawares.

You know my dear, as an Efik woman; there are do’s and don’ts of pregnancy and childbirth grandma continued. You must be brave from the very beginning. Don’t spit out no matter how nauseous you feel during the first trimester. As soon as you start you will not be able to control it and you know it is very irritating. Avoid certain foods like okra, snail, ogbono and other slimy foods so that your baby will not drool. You must not have sex standing or on all fours while pregnant so the baby does not behave like an animal. During labor, do not shout. Shouting makes labor more painful and gets you worn out.

When once you bring forth your child, you would have completed your life cycle as a woman….you would have replaced yourself. When you have the next one, you replace your husband. The entire room burst into laughter.

The next contraction jolted Eme back to reality. They were getting closer together and more painful as she had been told. Her husband hurriedly took her to the hospital and all she could say was get mom on the phone for me, please. Three hours later, she brought forth an adorable baby girl. As soon as she was able, she got to talk to her mom. Mommy, she said weakly, tell grandma I have completed the life cycle of a woman… Really? Mom said. Congratulations my darling, welcome to the ultimate club of womanhood!

Fitness

PANTING AFTER TAKING THE STAIRS?

March 5, 2020March 5, 2020 Darasmom

4 Top Reasons and What to Do About It.

Do you find yourself panting for breath, winded or short of breath after climbing up a flight of stairs? Not to worry, it happens to everyone, fit or not. It should not come as a surprise if you do not exercise regularly but if you exercise regularly, you may be wondering why you are short of breath after taking the stairs. Going up the stairs is a vertical exercise. Although of lower impact than running, stairs climbing is more tasking because you are lifting up your body against gravity, applying pressure on your lower body. It burns calories faster than running and walking depending on the intensity. It raises your heart rate quickly, making your lungs work more to take in oxygen. What’s up with that?

When you are stationary and hardly do any form of exercise, climbing up a flight of stairs becomes an uphill task, so tasking you get short of breath. Regular exercise is good for your overall health. Walking, running, and other forms of aerobics are excellent for your cardiovascular health. Regular exercise also increases your endurance threshold and metabolic rate. To avoid panting when taking the stairs therefore, you have to exercise more. Dump the elevator and get moving regularly. When your exercise routine is in top form, you will discover that taking the stairs becomes a leisurely activity.
Exceeding your endurance threshold. Everyone’s endurance threshold or limit is different. Some people could go up 5 flights of stairs and still be in top form while others can only do two before they begin panting for breath. Know your threshold and work with it, gradually increasing it. Regular endurance workouts will help build your resilience and increase your threshold. This applies to both active and inactive persons. To increase our endurance limit, work out more, avoid being stationary, eat healthy and nourishing foods instead of junk.
Taking the stairs after a long period of rest could be the cause of shortness of breath after going up a flight of stairs. When the body has assumed a state of rest, it needs to slowly get back into motion as it takes some seconds for the body to adjust. When taking the stairs after a period of rest, start slowly and gradually increase your pace. This will enable the body balance out and control your breathing.
Consider your health condition. Some known health conditions, such as asthma, could cause shortness of breath after going up a flight of stairs. Always move around with your ventilators and take short breaks while taking the stairs. Exercise more to increase threshold. Other conditions such as heart and pulmonary diseases could also cause shortness of breath on the stairs. Remember to take a break if it gets increasingly difficult for you to breathe while on the stirs!

Fitness

Treadmill

March 4, 2020March 4, 2020 Darasmom

All You Need To Know About Treadmills

These days, it is chic to use the treadmill in the gym, at home, or wherever. It is even more cliché to own one. But in the beginning, it was not so.

Our dearly beloved treadmill had a very humble, not so appealing beginning. It originated in prisons as a torture machine! It was devised to reform stubborn and idle inmates and was originally known as ‘tread wheel’.

Tread wheel

The tread wheel was invented by Sir William Cubitt, an English civil engineer in 1818. It was built as an 18 spokes, large paddle wheel, which prisoners climbed like stair cases. As the prisoners climbed or treaded on the wheels, the spokes turned and the resultant energy was used to pump water or grind grain hence the name tread wheel.

The prisoners took turns in 8-hour (plus or minus) shifts on the machine, climbing an equivalent of 7,200 feet. It was so tortuous it served its purpose of taming some of New York’s most hardened prisoners, according to a prison guard, James Hardie in 1824.

Americans stopped using the tread wheel overtime because it was too tortuous and rather chose to send prisoners to the fields for farming, wood breaking and stone crushing. The Brits kept using it until the late 19th century when it was eventually abandoned, for being too grueling.

The modern day treadmill was created by a mechanical engineer, William Stuart. His interest was sparked by a publication by H. Cooper, an American doctor and Air force colonel on the health benefits of aerobics, emphasizing on the benefits of walking/aerobics to the cardio-vascular system. The treadmill has evolved ever since into the many types and makes there are today.

Changing times are fast replacing outdoor walking with the use of treadmills. Back in the days before the treadmill became the in-thing, people walked and ran some distances for fitness purposes. Walking involves putting one foot in front of the other in onward movement. It could be slow, striding, side cross, overs, long or short distance walks. It is a low impact exercise which does not necessarily require a lot of physical exertion, easily practiced by everyone who has use of their legs.

Although a low impact exercise, walking is advantageous because it can be done at anytime, anywhere (even indoors) and by almost everybody be they young, old, obese, blind, deaf, and the like. It is so beneficial that even 30 minutes on the go daily, reduces the risks of certain disease conditions and improves overall well being.

The cons of walking such as boredom, low impact, safety, weather conditions, have made the treadmill more popular. Before I go on to the benefits of using the treadmill, i have to elaborate more on the treadmill such as its components, types, functions, advantages of each of the types, what you need to know before you buy the treadmill and before you hop on one.

What is a treadmill?

Treadmills are machines used for running, jogging or walking as a means of exercising the body while you remain at the same spot. It comprises of the frame, belt, handles, screen and motor (for electronic treadmills). The belt is the mat like part where you put your foot on to run/walk. It rolls when set in motion, either manually or electronically thereby enabling movement. The speed depends on the setting or manual pressure exerted. The screen or dashboard serves as the control and display panel. Here, the machine is powered on/off, speed set, it also displays distance covered, heart rate, calories burnt, workout videos. the screen is powered by AV batteries in non-motorized treadmills while the electronic motor controls the screen in motorized ones.

The handles of motorized treadmills have sensors installed. While on the treadmill, you grasp the sensors with both hands to enable the machine read your heartbeat, blood pressure and calories burnt.

The treadmill comes in different sizes depending on function and capacity. Motorized treadmills are often bigger while manual ones are smaller.

Types of Treadmill.

There are basically two major types of treadmills, the motorized or electronic treadmill and the Non-motorized or Manual treadmill. Both function as walking/running machines but are majorly differentiated by their mechanical set up.

Motorized/Electronic Treadmill.

Motorized treadmills are electronically powered machines with motors. The motor moves the belt when set in motion such that you don’t have to exert pressure when using it. The motor rolls the belt, sets the speed, controls the display screen and hand sensors.

Each motor is built with particular horsepower. The horsepower determines the weight capacity of the treadmill. The higehr the horsepower, the heavier the weight it can carry and also the higher its speed. Commercial treadmills have higher horsepower and can work for longer hours than personal types.

Advantages of Motorized Treadmill

Motorized or electronic treadmills have some advantages over manual or non-motorized treadmills due to its use of electronic motor.

Speed. Motorized treadmills have higher spped levels. The higher the horsepower, the higher the speed level. It also has provision for speed control and adjustment. You could adjust the speed higher or lower while still running, jogging or walking.
Automatic Incline and Decline Features. This feature enables you adjust the belt, or running path up and down, producing the effect of running up or down hill. With motorized treadmills, you can incline the treadmill up or down while running and do not have to step down to do so. The level of incline depends on the user’s preference; it ranges from 6-40%.
Electronic Measurement Screen. Electronic treadmills are built with electronic/automatic measurement, displayed on a screen infront of the machine. It measures calories, heartbeat, distance covered, blood pressure and speed. With this feature, you can easily tell how much calories exerted during a session, distance covered, adjust your speed levels, and check heart rate and blood pressure accordingly.
No Physical Exertion. You don’t need to exert physical energy to start and maintain your running tempo as this is controlled electronically.
Suitable for running, jogging and walking.

Disadvantages of Electronic/Motorized Treadmills

Everything that has an advantage definitely must have some disadvantages. The ultimate choice lies with the end user after carefully considering the pros and cons. Disadvantages of motorized treadmills are.

Cost. Motorized treadmills are more expensive than manual. The cost depends on the capacity i.e., the horsepower and size of the treadmill.
Size. They are built to be bigger in size. This makes it space consuming and not suitable for users with little space.
Energy Consuming. Since motorized treadmills are electronically powered, they consume power and do not function without electricity. The higher the horsepower, the higher its power consumption rate.
Risk of accident. Motorized treadmills are not as safe as manual ones because they start and stop automatically. It is advisable to stand on the sidebars before switching the machine on and off, then to gingerly step on the belt. Start with a minimal speed and gradually increase it to desired speed. Ensure that wires are correctly connected to avoid risk of electric shock or being thrown off balance by the sudden stop of the machine due to power surge.

Non-Motorized or Manual Treadmill

As the name implies, this type of treadmill is built without a motor, it is operated manually using the strength of the user. This means the belt is set in motion by the physical pressure exerted on it by the user. The user determines the speed, when it starts and stops. Non-motorized treadmills are ideal for walking and not running due to their inbuilt speed limits and sizes.

There are two types of non-motorized treadmills, the curved and flat belt.

The curved manual treadmill

This is a non-motorized treadmill with a curved surface running belt, curved in the form of an arc. Stepping up the arc increases your speed and acts like the incline feature of the motorized treadmill while stepping further down reduces speed and brings the treadmill to a halt. It is perfect for interval and consistent paced training.

Flat belt treadmill is the regular, flat surface manual treadmill. They are usually small and portable.

Advantages of Non-Motorized or Manual Treadmills.

No Electricity Needed. Manual treadmills are built without electronic motors therefore do not need electricity to be powered. They are muscle powered, by the effort of the user. This saves on the cost of electricity, affords you the flexibility of positioning the treadmill anywhere of your choice
It is Cost Effective. They are way cheaper than electronic treadmills, especially the flat belt types.
Less Bulk. Non-Motorized treadmills are less bulky; they are smaller in built saving on space. Most of them are also foldable.
Enhanced Safety. Since you are in complete control of the speed, start and stop of your manual/non-motorized treadmill, it is much safer than the motorized cousins. It has low risk of one falling off the machine during work outs, electrical shocks due to sudden power failure and unlike the motorized treadmill which emits dangerous electromagnetic field (EMF), The non motorized treadmill completely eliminates this risk.

Disadvantages of Non-Motorized/Manual Treadmill.

Since it is self powered, it means more muscle exertion which could lead to muscle strain.
No automatic incline and decline features. This is a great put off as you have to break your workout, get off the machine to adjust the incline to your choice.
Speed. Manual treadmills are not built with as much speed as electronic ones. They are ideal for walking and not running. The highest speed you can get from it is jogging speed.

Before You Buy That Treadmill. . .

Now you know all about treadmills, the types and their pros and cons. You must consider these insights before you buy one

Your Budget. It is possible to get all excited and want to purchase the best treadmill there is in the market, but you need to stop and think; how much do you really want to spend on a treadmill? If your set budget is not enough for the type you have in mind, you could go for alternatives such as fairly used or refurbished ones which are in good working conditions. These can be found in shops where fairly used goods are sold or you talk to your dealer or gym instructor. They just might know of someone who wants to sell!
Type. Make up your mind about the type you want. Do you want motorized or non-motorized treadmill? The type will be determined by the availability of space, power supply, your body size and, your health and fitness needs.
Your Body Weight and Height. Every treadmill has a specific size limit, above which it cannot function well. Ensure that you cross check your weight and the size of the treadmill of your choice. The higher your body weight, the higher the horsepower you will need likewise the taller you are, the longer the treadmill belt you will need.
Number of Users and Preferred gadgets/Accessories. Just like your body weight, treadmills are built for personal and commercial uses. If the machine will be used by a whole lot of people, it is better you buy one with a larger capacity to avoid early wear out. Your preferred gadgets should also be put into consideration when choosing a treadmill. Do you want one with a Bluetooth headphone, internet or USB connection where you could watch work out videos as you train, dash board showing the distance covered, calories burnt? Sorting out these questions will guide you in choosing a suitable treadmill.
Your Health Condition. Some health conditions do not require you to use the treadmill, especially without supervision. Cross check with your doctor to ensure you are ok to use the treadmill. Check blood pressure and heart rate before using the machine.

Now you know all about the treadmill, step out, grab one and be fit!

Fitness

10 Gym Bag Essentials For Effective Workout.

May 28, 2019March 4, 2020 Darasmom

Traveling to your desired destination becomes real when you pack your bags. Packing your bag is so essential that it is synonymous with readiness/preparedness. Same goes for your gym sessions. You are ready to hit the gym when you have a gym bag packed with must-have gym items.

A well-packed gym bag showcases readiness and is essential for an impactful gym session. It boosts your confidence knowing that you have all you need during and after your gym session at hand.

You need to have a gym bag ready, either in your car trunk or packed and kept at home, to remind and encourage you to hit the gym. It is not any bag that does this trick, but one packed with absolutely essential items for your workout sessions to be exciting, impactful and worthwhile.

What therefore are these 10 gym bag essentials?

1. GYM BAG.

Every occasion has a matching bag, the gym is not an exception. To pack right, you need the right bag. A gym bag doesn’t have to be too big to carry, but also not too small. It must be something roomy enough to contain every other essential item, with side compartments for a water bottle. The type, (sling or knapsack) depends on your preference. It has to be sturdy, so it doesn’t wear and tear easily. It must not be too heavy to ensure portability.

2. Water Bottle.

Exercise makes you sweaty and thirsty, therefore the need to cool off with regular sips of water. A water bottle is essential to hold your own water while at the gym. It is more convenient than using shared cups or bottles at the gym. It reduces the risk of contracting infection too. You may also have a preferred type of water, maybe fruit infused water, mineral water, etc. having and carrying your own bottle to the gym affords you the luxury of having your preferred water.

3. SIZEABLE BATH TOWEL.

A sizeable towel is a gym bag essential due to its multiple uses. It could be used to hold sweat, dry the body after having a bath, or placed on the floor to be used as a gym mat. It is not advisable to use the shared towel at the gym to avoid the spread of infection. Your towel should also be changed often.

4. FIRST AID KIT.

A small first aid kit is also an essential part of your gym bag. Having a bag that can hold your first aid kits such as razor blade, scissors, pain reliever, bandages, blister pads, sanitary towel, plaster; gauze, can be a lifesaver. It could be a travel size purse which can easily fit into the bag, leaving room for other items.

5. COSMETICS/TOILETRIES PACK.

This is a pack containing your personal care items, all in one place which you may need after having your bath at the gym. It should contain mini pack body wash or soap, shampoo, body cream, deodorant, hair combs, large body wipes, breath freshener or toothpaste and brush depending on your preference.

6. GYM CLOTHES.

If you go to the gym from anywhere else but home, having your gym clothes in your gym bag is absolutely necessary. It saves you the stress of going home to change. You may even end up not having the zeal to return to the gym when you get home. Having extra gym clothes, in the bag is also a necessity.

7. FITNESS TRACKER AND HEART RATE MONITOR.

This is a device that monitors your workout level, calories burnt, time spent and heart rate. It helps you keep track of your workout. Having a heart rate monitor is essential, especially for people who are prone to pulmonary illnesses such as high blood pressure. It helps regulate your speed levels.

8. HEADPHONES.

For some people, listening to music during a workout relaxes them and enhances productivity. it shuts out distractions thereby increasing concentration. It is a must have item for your gym bag.

9. NYLON FOR WET CLOTHES.

You don’t want your wet clothes messing up your entire gym bag right? Then you need nylon for packing up your wet clothes and towel before putting them in the bag. It could also be used to pack your gym shoes.

10. WEIGHT LIFTING GLOVES.

Weight lifting gloves are worn on the hands for protection and a better grip while lifting weights. You should have them in your gym bag at all times. It prevents blisters and calloused hands while helping you have a firmer grip on weight rods.

Short Story

Mama, I’m Becoming a Man! 3.

April 25, 2019March 10, 2020 Darasmom

You see, grandpa, my maternal and only surviving grandparent, lived in a beautiful little village, down south. He nicknamed his country home ‘the nest’. The nest stood right in the middle of town, surrounded by real beauty. It was a magnificent two storey stone house standing on two acres of land. A rose bush stood within the fence, with all colors of roses. Behind the house, bothering the little river where grandpa taught us how to row was an orange orchard. When in full bloom, it permeated the atmosphere with its citric smell.

To our astonishment, arrangements were made and we left for the country. We were so excited we could not sleep the previous night. We waved goodbye as Ted, grandpa’s loyal driver of 30 years, pulled the car out of mom’s driveway. Grandpa would not have us do the one hour thirty minutes trip any other way. He would rather we drove leisurely while taking in the beauty of the prairie countryside.

We chatted about each and everything we passed on the road. Neither of us knew when we fell asleep. We were woken up by the deep sound of grandpa’s laughter. Here they are! My boys! Come on and give the old man a handshake let me see how strong you are.

We scrambled out of the car and ran straight into grandpas outstretched arms. He squeezed us both tightly while his large body shook in sobs and laughter. We all tried unsuccessfully to talk at once and gave up immediately. We would have hugged our grandfather forever if Ted had not interrupted us.

Come on guys, lunch is ready, said Ted. I can’t wait for news from you, your mom and your big city. Be sure to spill everything, all of it, while we eat Grandpa said as he dragged our only luggage behind him into the large house. The ante was cold and smelled of Sandalwood, grandpa’s favorite scent.

It was an open secret that grandpa could not tell us apart like most people. We were so identical even mom sometimes got confused. This strong resemblance made her always insist we dress differently. In our younger days, we would play pranks on grandpa until he would find a way to distinguish between us, only to forget again on the next visit.

Ok gramps, I started. It’s my, our pleasure, to be with you. Thank you for offering us four weeks of no mom. Jax chuckled. You cannot begin to imagine how choked up I sometimes feel with mom. I have so many mysteries which I don’t think mom can solve, really embarrassing mysteries.

Grandpa chewed very slowly, deep in thought. There was silence on the table as we ate. I couldn’t help wondering if I had said something wrong. After all, he had earlier said he couldn’t wait for our news update. After what seemed like forever, grandpa broke the silence to my delight.

Alright, boys, you must be tired after your ride into the country. I have a rowing contest to officiate this evening by 4.00pm. Care to tag along? You would have been well rested by then being that it is yet midday. Of course grandpa, we are game. A bit of seaside air wouldn’t do a boy no harm, right Jay? Jax asked, not actually expecting an answer.

I’ll be on the patio then. Join me as soon as you are done. That said, grandpa exited the dining room without quite finishing his lunch. We were worried and would have regretted the trip if he hadn’t popped his head in right then and said “put on some sweatshirts as it is a bit chilly on the patio. We’ve got adult stuff to talk about”. We held up our thumbs in thumbs up so grandpa would know we heard him because our mouths were stuffed full. One of the mysteries of twinhood is that you could make simultaneous movements like the thumbs up we just did.

Short Story

Mama, I’m Becoming a Man! 2

April 6, 2019May 1, 2020 Darasmom

Jeff was the younger twin. He was bigger and more sturdily built. At twelve, his bicep’s were beginning to develop and he was already having darker upper lips, the beginning of a beard. He was also growing pubic hair. Jeff had an air of responsibility around him and always found a way to resolve issues. Mom depended more on his strength than mine. He was like a replacement of dad while I remained the baby of the house.

It was dinner time. Dinner also doubled as our family bonding time. Here, issues of the day were raised and discussed. The future was planned and we generally had fun. We also prayed, laughed and cried with each other on the dinner table.

Mother announced that dinner was set and we virtually flew out of our beds into the dining room. Such was the anticipation. Hi! Mother we both echoed, pecking her on both cheeks simultaneously as was our norm. She wasn’t looking cheerful and this got us confused. We all sat down, grace was said and we started eating, making small talks to cheer mom up and get her to spill what bugged her.

Ok boys, mom started. Grandpa called and this time has insisted you both spend the remaining part of summer with him in the country. My eyes shone and almost popped out of their sockets with glee as I let out a whoop of joy. Whoot whoot!! Mama this is the best news we’ve heard in . . . the words got stuck in my throat as my brother hit me on the lap under the dining chair. That was when I noticed mom did not see it as good news.

You know how hard it is for me to let you boys out of my sight and care. I know you are growing and need fatherly guidance but without your dad I can hardly trust any other person with you. What with all the evil going on in this age. I’d never forgive myself if you came to any harm; she said and blew her nose into a handkerchief.

We immediately flew to her sides, giving her a big hug. I felt very bad that her bad news was my good news. I am really sorry you feel this way mom, but you know what, we don’t have to go if you don’t feel comfortable about it. I hate it when you are heartbroken, I said, hugging her tighter.

Mom, Jeff started. I really appreciate your undying love and care for us from birth till now. But mom, we are growing up and will not be with you forever. As much as I hate to say this, grandpa is right. I most times feel the absence of a father figure and wish grandpa was closer or that you could give us a dad. I know it’s hard for you but you need to let us go, slowly. Grandpa raised you into the beautiful, strong woman that you are today, why wouldn’t you trust us with him? He is your dad and is not kidnapping us. Cheer up mom. We will not be gone forever, at least not yet that is if you let us. Jeff said jokingly.

It was characteristic of Jeff to sound matured and all wise. He could speak his mind with little or no consideration for other’s feelings. Mom sat up and put on a wry smile. I know I have to let you go at some point son’s, but then I would be assured that you can take care of yourselves.

That said, dinner continued in silence as the thought of going to be with grandpa for four whole weeks excited me. I could not wait to be alone with Jeff so I could dance on springs. Grandpa is always fun to be with. He is full of wisdom and easy to talk to. I made a mental note of everything I would love to discuss with him, especially about the changes going on in my body. My growing attraction to the opposite sex was also a concern which I needed to talk to grandpa about.

Hey Jax, what’s that smile? Why are you grinning from ear to ear as if you just won the lottery? Jeff asked me. Whoops! I am in fantasy land brother, going fishing with grandpa, storytelling, the long drives, and hiking, outdoor cooking and camping, you just name it.

How about waking up very early every day? The long trek to church every single morning for one month? That too is fun right? Asked Jeff. I could endure that for a whole year only to be around grandpa, I replied. Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, I sang as I did the spring dance. Jeff soon joined me in dancing as he could not contain his excitement.

Short Story

Mama, I’m Becoming a Man! 1.

April 5, 2019May 1, 2020 Darasmom

HELLO! Poppa, how are you today? I could hear mom say into the handheld phone from where I stood, checking out a not-so-familiar bird. I thought she sounded a bit too excited and loud, but then, I remembered that you had to raise your voice a notch higher for grandpa to hear. Very well, as good as an old man can be on a warm summer evening. How are the boys? Grandpa replied. This opening line was typically grandpa. He would only change the season as applicable. Every time was evening to him and every evening was warm, even in the cold winter.

You should send those boys over to spend the summer holidays out here in the country with their old man. You can’t raise boys all by yourself Mona, you try it and what you will get for your troubles is a bunch of sissy’s. That, also, was grandpa’s constant reprimand to mom.

Dad had passed on when we were just two years old, my twin brother and I. Mom mourned him for a very long time and refused to remarry. Now, at twelve years old, ten years after dad passed on, she still held on to us like babies. We were the very air she breathed and she could not bear being separated from us. It was only her dad, our grandpa, who could whisk us away from her occasionally.

Poppa, when will you ever cease to trouble me about the boys? They are doing very fine. They get involved in everything good boys their age are engaged in. I overheard mom say into the telephone handset. If you say so my dear, I Will not bug you. Can I speak with my grandson’s please; if you don’t mind? Aaaaarrrhhggggh! Mom groaned through clenched teeth and handed over the handset to me. I had inched closer when I realized she was speaking with grandpa. It was always a delight speaking with him.

Hi! Gramps! I almost screamed into the phone. How do you do grandpa? It’s been a while, old man. How are you? I blurted out with excitement. There was a short pause, then a gasp. Grandpa, are you okay? I asked. Yes-yes, He replied. Is this Jeff or Jax? Its Jax gramps, why the surprised question? Why are you sounding lost? It’s ok son, he said. How are you, my boy? How is the other half of the bean? That was my grandfather’s way of asking after us twins. He is fine grandpa, out cycling with his pals I said. The weather is really cool and exciting for outdoor games. When are you coming over? I asked expectantly. Not this time, grandpa answered, a little more firm than usual. I need to talk to your mom; can you pass on the phone to her?

I passed the phone to mom, completely perplexed. Why is grandpa acting strange? I asked myself. It’s really unlike him not to want to chit-chat about everything under the sun. Could there be something bothering him? Was he about to die? Did I offend him in any way? Maybe Jeff would know, I consoled myself and waited patiently for mom to get off the phone and face my inquest.

After what seemed like eternity, with loads of frowns and clenched teeth responses, mom got off the phone. She kept a face so straight I could not ask her all the barrage of questions I had prepared for her. But I had to know so I asked; mom, how did it go with grandpa? You don’t seem happy. Its ok son, she replied. I will talk to you two later at dinner. She replied with an air of finality.

I couldn’t wait for Jeff to come in through the door before I blurted out what transpired between grandpa and I that evening. The intriguing part of the whole thing is that I have a funny feeling something is not right. Grandpa literally froze on hearing me speak. You can’t be serious! Jeff responded. He furrowed his brows in deep thought. This always made him appear older and wiser. We have to wait for the meeting with mom then. He said.